Well, after Halloween is now over, and from a partying stint this past Saturday… I can officially say I am ready for hibernation. I have had far too many drunken conversations with friends of mine to feel anything but embarrassment about being such an idiot.  Today, I was awoken by mind- blowing stupidity provided by the older women I am working on a project with. My brain literally cannot understand how people can be so stupid when it comes to basic workflow.So, it is time to start blogging in my little home office…. Look forward to more random babble from the beast.

I think it is very important to know a little bit about everything. Which is why most of the time, even though I work mostly on my computer, I like to learn how to do some random things occasionally. I know, making butter in a mason jar is something kindergarteners do. But hell, I wanted to do it too. So this month, my random skill I have learned… Is how to make the best fucking butter I have ever tasted. Ever.

First, I started with a large mason jar, and a carton of heavy whipping cream.

Have you ever tasted plain whipping cream? It’s seriously thick. Like 5x’s thicker than milk. My lactose intolerance was already getting nervous about this. The trick to this, is only pouring 1/3 of the way to the top of the jar. that allows the cream to have room to shake.

And now, we shake. Shake. Shake. Shake. Shake. Shake. Shake. Shake. Shake. Shake……………………… and shake some more.

After around 5 minutes of vigorous shaking- the cream started to solidify. It was more of like a yogurtey texture- but was not done yet. You have to wait until the butter separates from the buttermilk. (Can you imagine if you had to chug a jar full of gooey cream? BLARF)

Success! The butter separated from the milk within seconds. I gave it a few more good shakes, just for good measure, and then poured the fatty concoction into a sifter to strain out the excess buttermilk.

Call me Martha Beast- we have butter! It still had some  milk draining out, so a gave it a good squish with a spoon, and then put it all into a smaller jar. You can add salt to it, which I did, and I thought maybe I used too much, but it was ok.

This was by far the best butter I have ever tasted. It was so rich, it actually made one little english muffin half totally satisfying. I suggest this fun little project to anyone who wants to be a little housewifey, crafty, or just wants some better tasting butter. It took me roughly 20 minutes start to finish to pull this off. And if you know me at all, you know I only use my kitchen to open bottles of wine. Cooking ‘aint my thing.

Well, I guess it’s that time of year again… Fall. It’s weird, growing up I always hated Fall- it’s when school started and summer ended. Now, as a grown up, I don’t really like summer all that much (too much day drinking and air conditioning bills). After the last 3 years of awesome Halloween Parties, I am really excited about this years. I have promised my fiance that I will not put any decorations up until Oct. 1st. What a party pooper. Fall hit all of us Los Angelinos like a brick, with instant cool weather and overcast skies. I can honestly say, I really do like it. It makes working easier, since I’m not always passing out from the heat. I had an awesome end-of-summer trip to Big Bear with my closest friends. “Overindulgence” is putting it lightly. Let’s just say it wasn’t a party your parents would approve of. Anyway, these are a few things I have started liking/using/buying/listening to recently.

Giant Drag: Alright, not exactly a new thing- but I tend to listen to them more during the fall/cold weather months. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I’m more likely to be in a grungy mood when it’s cloudy out. All of their songs are awesome- but this video is especially rad.

Spirit Hoods: My friend makes these, and I just think they are so rad. Even out in public, wearing these gets really positive feedback from “regular” people. Everyone just seems to love them. And they are SOOO comfortable. I suggest you buy one before it goes Anime- just sayin. Buy yours HERE.

Spring St. Bar, Downtown Los Angeles: It kills me that I moved from Downtown LA to Echo Park. I lived there for 3 fucking years, with not ONE cool bar, and now they are popping up everywhere. The Spring St. Bar is seriously awesome. It nails the NYC lounge to the nose. With over 25 beers on tap, and some pretty tasty bar food that includes a pretzel with mustard, you really can’t go wrong coming to this place. The decor is rustic, and feels more like an upscale drinking joint in Italy, than a pub in Downtown LA.

Cuts Of Meat Dress: By Etsy Shop “I’m Your Present” – This RADICAL homemade dress with selections of meat cuts is absolutely something I need. And so do you. Actually, most of her stuff is adorable, but kudos to this idea. Knocked it right outta the park.

The Goods: This is a ridiculous movie. Multiple quotes from this movie are repeated in my household. I suggest you stop what you are doing, and Watch It Now Instantly via Netflix.

So, most of you already know, if you are lucky enough to be annoyed by me all day on Facebook, that I am playing roller derby. I figured since I was always playing contact sports in high school, and that I’m pretty much just an angry bitch most of the time, that I would benefit from joining the LA Derby Dolls.

I didn’t realize that so many other girls had this idea also. I started practicing with their beginner league, Derby Por Vida, for a few weeks. It was literally the first time I had been on roller skates since they were plastic and strapped on to my shoes. I really sucked. Like reaaally sucked. Technically, I still suck, but just not as much.

I tried out for Fresh Meat, which is the league for girls who hope to one day, be on a Derby Doll Team. I actually made it! It came as a huge shock to me, but I made it. I now go to practice twice a week, for 2 hours each time. It is literally the hardest workout I’ve ever done. At tryouts, a girl lost her balance, and hooked my arm, pulling me down with her, and I got my first case of rink rash.

Then, at the first practice, I sprained my ankle pretty bad, and have been hobbling around my house ever since. At practice, we use the banked track, which I have been told is the only 1 of 5 out there in the world of roller derby. It is so much more difficult than it seems, but it’s actually pretty awesome to skate around.

]]> http://theideabeast.com/2010/08/31/how-ive-been-spending-my-nights/feed/ 1 http://theideabeast.com/2010/08/22/new-online-portfolio/ http://theideabeast.com/2010/08/22/new-online-portfolio/#comments Sun, 22 Aug 2010 23:30:03 +0000 ideabeast http://theideabeast.com/?p=3146

My original portfolio was Flash, and since the creation of the iPhone, and it’s amazing cousin, the iPad, Flash has since become obsolete. I had actually been sending clients to my Flickr account to view my work instead of the website I had spent so many hours making. I decided it was time for a change, so I found this site, http://carbonmade.com- where you can actually pay like $12 a month to host your work, in a great html format, where you can continually update your projects, without ever having to open a CSS code. If I was trying to get work for programming websites, obviously this wouldn’t be the best choice. But I’m not, I just want prospective clients to be able to see my work as quickly and as easily as possible. Feel free to check out the new site here: http://ideabeastdesign.carbonmade.com/

Hello, internets. It has been a long time since I blogged anything, and oddly enough, it’s mainly because I was actually busy. After being freelance, and controlling my own “business” (being myself) it has come to my attention that spending less time blogging/Facebooking, I actually get real work done. But, alas- I was getting annoyed with only posting random things I find online to this site, that really had nothing to do with design/art in any way. This is my new decision, I will try and post only things that:

1. I either designed- worked on, or had some sort of input on.
2. Something that is super cool and designy. (Worthy enough to actually blog about.)
3. Things I am doing.
4. Or products/applications I use.

Also, I have been filming some tutorials for ya’ll to watch and learn from my own personal techniques skills to apply in your own industry.

Thanks for being around and continuing to read and view my old posts- but be ready for some really cool new content and possibly a reformat of the entire layout. See you all soon.

Via College Humor

I just joined the LAAC ( The Los Angeles Athletic Club) about 2 months ago and I am absolutely gaga about it.

In the heart of Downtown LA- lies a 7 story building- complete with hotel suites, 4 restaurants, a complete gym with banked running track, a John Wooden award winning basketball court, and an olympic sized swimming pool.

Since I am a veteran swimmer- I basically only joined for the pool. It’s just. so. CLEAN. Compared to all the gyms in LA with “pools” – it’s like a 4 star hotel vs a Motel 6. No hair floating around, or bandaids, or loogies. Just a gorgeous 10 foot deep pool- established in the 1920′s for training Olympic divers- its like swimming through history. It’s also the first pool to ever be built above ground- 3 stories to be exact.

The Trophy Room: The 1,000-bottle, walnut constructed wine cellar is temperature controlled at 55 degrees. The Cellar Club, their own wine club, meets here to enjoy wine tastings and to remark on the room’s “sweet, woodsy taste hinting of tanned leather and polished brass.”

Duke’s Sports Bar was founded in 1996 in homage to L.A.A.C. living legend Richard “Duke” Llewellyn, a long time executive with The Club and former professional athlete (football, track and boxing). A sports bar in the true sense of the word, Duke’s was once the darts room for The Club.

The Grill Room is the main restaurant at The Club and host many of their monthly events. Feast your eyes on the food of the Grill Room:

The Hotel as also recently been renovated, and the rooms are amazing. Much like the boutique hotels in New York, similar to The Tribeca Grand, or Soho Grand.

I am currently the mayor of the LAAC on Foursquare- which is awesome. I have also lost like 10 pounds already and the muscle is a’ growin. My family will be coming in a couple of weeks and are staying here, so I hope to take some photos for myself- to see if it is up to par with my expectations.

I recommend the gym to anyone- even though it’s a rich snob’ish place to be, the old people don’t really bother me too much. Unless they are naked in the showers, which, does happen.

Ok- so I’m getting beyond annoyed with people over the age of 45 constantly trying to question the importance of having an iPad.

“Well, why don’t you just use the iPhone for that?”

“I already have a laptop… I don’t need an iPad”

STFU. The iPad is fucking amazing. I carry it with me all over my house. I have over 50 apps- which are all equally NOT a waste of time or money. I use my cat sounds keyboard practically everyday. Meow.

Now- my reasons on why the iPad is totally worth spending your hard earned money on.

10. Useless apps for wasting time are bigger.

Don’t you hate when you are on a date with your bf/gf and they are playing with their iphone? I can understand if they are checking email, or even texting- but to sit at a bar and play Uno on an iPhone is just plain pathetic. With the iPad- you get all that gaming out of your system pre- date. Since the screen is so gloriously huge- it makes the iPhone feel like what the first Gameboy felt like compared to playing Pokemon on the Gameboy Color.

9. iPeriod app makes teen pregnancy a thing of the past.

Hi,  I don’t know if you realize this, but I am a girl. I won’t go into much detail- but iPeriod freggin rocks.

8. Gilt

Like most Los Angelino’s – I like shopping for extremely overpriced items- which only appeal to me because some random celebrity owns one in pink. Gilt is an app that sells designer clothing and accessories for over half of what you would pay origionally. So instead of paying $6800 for a Marc Jacobs leather jacket- its more like $2500. Talk about thrifty.

7. AirVideo

I don’t want to incriminate myself or my fiance- BUT- we have A LOT of movies and tv shows on our home server. Now- I can access all of those movies through my iPad through the internet. That means that at the gym- I can watch Metalocalypse or New Moon some other non embarrassing movie. Download AirVideo.

6. Netflix: Watch Instantly

I heart movies. HEART THEM. So, as you can see why I would enjoy having Netflix as an app on my iPad. I just prop it up, and can watch King of the Hill for free- all day.

5. Godfinger (& all other apps made by Plus+)

Let me explain. Godfinger is a game in which you are god- and you have followers in your planet that you must make work and worship you. You can also make it rain, and set them on fire. I think you can see the attraction. So, if you enjoy time consuming games- say Fuck Farmville, and download Godfinger.

4. Things

Things was $20. It was the most I have ever spent on an app. Ever. I literally winced and closed my eyes when I pushed the “buy” button. To my surprise, its an amazing app. It organizes your life just like a day planner- but looks less gay than an actual OCD book. It is such a perfect tool for a freelancer like me, because you can seperate different to do’s within the project the are involved with. Watch the teaser.

3. Scrabble on Date Night

What is cuter than sitting at a bar with your significant other playing Scrabble? Not much. I am probably the worst at Scrabble than anyone else- I usually just make 3 letter words like “car” and “map”. But its a great game to play – and the screen is just the right size for 2 people to huddle around and play. And, if your as nerdy as me and Urk are- you’ll be able to sit across the room and play with eachothers ipads via wifi. It’s very romantic.

2. Facebook

Don’t lie- you love Facebook as much as I do. And now- you can hold FB in your hands- in bed- in the bathroom- at the gym- and its seriously the perfect size for lurking and judging all of your frenemies from high school’s profiles. And- when you know that you can look at Facebook on your iPad, you are much less interested in playing with it at work. Or at least that’s what we all hope for.

1. Letting old rich people drown in their own jealousy.

I know people say to respect your elders. But when it comes to rich old men, who think they are brilliant because they got lucky in the stock market ONCE- I have run out of respect. I don’t get why corporate people hate Apple so much? What’s the deal? I mean, I can understand if they just prefer using PC, I mean, I definitely prefer using a Mac, but I don’t go around PC bashing to people using a Zune instead of an iPod. I think some of what Microsoft has released is semi cool- I just wouldn’t use it. But literally, I have heard people just HATING on Apple- for no other reason I can see than jealousy. I literally had someone use an example of a business selling crap by having good commercials- to me buying an iPad because I am “stupid”. At least I know how to open a fucking email. Go get some more Botox.

BUY AN IPAD! It will change your life. I love it.

]]> http://theideabeast.com/2010/06/01/10-reasons-why-the-ipad-rules/feed/ 0 http://theideabeast.com/2010/05/14/you-already-knew-this/ http://theideabeast.com/2010/05/14/you-already-knew-this/#comments Fri, 14 May 2010 21:52:19 +0000 ideabeast http://theideabeast.com/?p=3097 But celebrity photographs are lies. I have no problem with this, since I have retouched many photos and see no offense in making women look amazing for ads. That being said- when retouching becomes a LIE- it bothers me.

Gisele Bundchen just had photos taken of her “after baby” body. Just a mere 6 months from having her baby. These photos are LIES. Since the retouching job was so badly executed- I can only assume that she needed some major work done. I’m not saying she was ever fat- by any means. But- you can literally SEE where they moved her waist in! So- I have performed my very own “reverse retouching” job on this photo.

Gisele with Retouching

What Gisele probably looked like. (Stretch marks included)

Your welcome- fellow girls who constantly try and lose weight. Gisele- you aren’t fooling anyone.